Wanted

24 March 2009
WANTED

WANTED: Smart, handsome, charming boyfriend for Leah. Existence is optional.

Applications are currently being collected for the post of my new fictitious boyfriend. For the past 8.5 months I have been trying to be an example of a strong, independent, happy, single women but now I am sick of being called “Mommy” by adult men. Don’t get me wrong! I am more than happy to talk to people about the fact that it is possible for a woman to be 24, unmarried, childless and HAPPY; even if the most common reactions include nervous laughter and stares of shock. But for the random men on the taxis, it seems I need more of a deterrent.
So my solution is to make up the existence of a man in my life and brandish him in the face of all the men on the taxis. Here is where you come in! I am looking for highly qualified candidates for this prestigious position. He can be real or fictitious; I just need some stats to convince others that he is in fact real. So please take a moment to fill out the application and a winner (or two or three) will be selected on 6 May 2009.

Name:
Occupation:
Hobbies:
Height:
Reading List:
Political Affiliations:
Possible back-story of how we met:
Picture (optional, but highly recommended):

Should this solution fail miserably, I plan to say, “Fine, you can marry me but I am very expensive. I cost 2000 cows.”*

*Note: Lebola or Bride price is paid here in the form of cows, money, blankets, etc. 2000 cows is about 1000% increase is what is a reasonable lebola.